I’d like to put this down, just for the record, that dogs are the most disgusting animal I have ever owned. Not that I don’t love my dog, he really is great, but damn he’s gross sometimes! Allow me to compare him to the other types of animas I’ve owned: bearded dragon, gerbils, mouse, and cat.
Now you might think that the cat, of all of these, is clearly the LEAST gross. I disagree. The gerbils I had win that category. But let me rank grossness first from least to most.
Gerbils: They are desert animals, so they have very little waste (poo and pee.) As a result, they have almost no odor. Just clean the bedding once a week, and you’re fine! They don’t even really pee when you take them out of the cage, because they always use their one spot.
Bearded dragon: Pretty mellow, really doesn’t do too much and so how can it be gross, right? Well, sometimes, when you get that one REALLY big poo, the lizard doesn’t care and just tromps right through it. Then you have to clean the cage, and the lizard.
Mouse: Mice are actually really nice. I like them a lot, but they do smell. And they actually leave a urine trail everywhere they go, which is gross if you ever plan on handling them. They only have tiny poo pellets, but they do eat them. Gross. I’d like to point out however, that they actually eat it for nutritional value- as opposed to just thinking of it as a tasty snack.
Cat: Surprised? You might think that cats are really clean, since they lick themselves so much. But really? Do you consider YOURSELF clean when a baby drools all over you? Or if someone comes over and licks you, is that clean? No. Also, cats have that terrible hairball thing. Ew. Not to mention if they miss the litter box, or a male cat that tries to mark his territory. My old roommate had a cat that also threw up all over the place. Gross.
Dog: Absolutely the most disgusting animal I have ever owned. I love you, Tucker, but damn you are nasty! For example, he has had this terrible habit of eating poop lately. first it was his own poop. But today, he jsut beelines it to some other canine’s waste and decided to down it like a college student eating ramen. GROSS. Which leads me to the gross-ness of their indiscriminate eating habits. “Mmm. antifreeze? Tastes sweet! YUM!” or perhaps their love of anything that smells like something that;’s not dog food- anything- that happens to be on the side of the sidewalk during the daily walk/run. Another gross thing my dog has eaten? Well, aside from the thermacare heat wrap that almost poisoned him with an iron level 3 times the lethal dose, he love to get into the bathroom trash can. Probably because it smells like me. Ladies, consider, what do you throw away in the bathroom trash can about once a month? Yes, my dog has eaten, (chewed, eaten. swallowed, ingested) used feminine hygeine products. Tampons or pads, doesn’t matter. It smells like mama and so we better eat it. GROSS. Blood and all. The final weird thing that I know my dog has eaten? (because no one knows what he gets into when I’m not around) My dog has eaten my toe nail clippings. Yes, as I sat trimming my toe nails, the dog sniffed around and said, “Hm. What’s this? *sniff sniff* Lemme eat it!” and excitedly waited for more. GROSS. Not to mention all the potty training errors- poo AND pee. And what about when they get worms, and they can’t control their diarrhea? Not their fault, but it is very gross. Especially when you have to clean that soup off of the floor. Thank goodness my floor is tile. Finally, dogs have an affinity for licking themselves. Not all over like a cat, just on their man parts, it would appear. And then they want to lick your face. Always. GROSS. NASTY.
In conclusion, dogs are really gross. That said, I love my dog, but it sure would be easier to look at him without having that image of him eating another dog’s poo like a snicker’s bar.